There are times when communication is at a freeze frame when it could be reframed. You know when you watch those lawyer shows and they say that they are reframing a question? You can reframe a question or statement any time you like to help make yourself understood. Read that again. There is no rule about how many ways you are allowed to restate or reframe. What happens when you don’t bother to clarify? Freeze frame. That misunderstood comment or action stays with the person on the receiving end.
How can you tell when a person may have misunderstood you? Check their body language. Ask if they understood without insulting. Here is an example:
Someone asked me how my husband is.
My thought: That’s really none of your business. I do not know you that well.
My words: Fine
My body language: Concerned facial expression
The person who asked then states that they had heard that my husband was ill lately.
My thought: Oh, she knows someone that I am close to.
My words: Thank you for asking. He is much better now.
My body language: Relaxed
The person then says that they hope he is doing better.
Just that clarification helps me to know that this person cares and is being thoughtful. My whole demeanor changes to one of gratitude.
How do you reframe so that you don’t freeze frame?
Food for thought.
Many Blessings!
Kari Petruch
Master Relationship Coach
