When couples get into arguments in their relationship this brings so much tension for the couple. I have written about time out for each other when those disagreements become too heated but I haven’t written about what each of you can do during that time out. Instead of brooding, why not try grounding yourself? What do I mean by grounding? Grounding is when you use one or all of your five senses to help you to de-stress  Below are some techniques that you can implement to help:

Deep breathing: Slowly inhale and exhale at least ten times.
Savor a favorite scent
Go outside and just listen to the world around you.
Recite a mantra, prayer or a favorite poem five times.
Visualize your favorite food or dessert.
Recall a loving moment with the person you are angry with.

These are just a few of the things that you can do to self-calm. Bringing yourself into a state of calm helps you to see the situation a bit clearer. After calming…ask yourself…

Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said by me?
Does it need to be said by me right now?

If the answer to all of these is yes then I ask you to take yet another step. Take out a piece of paper and rapidly write down how you are feeling. Fold up that paper and put it away for one hour to one day. After one day, pull out that paper and read it. Would you still say that? Do you still feel that way? Probably not. If so…well say it in a kind way.

Many Blessings!

Kari Petruch
Master Relationship Coach