There are times in our lives when we experience low times. Those low times do not necessarily have to be related to a major life event. It is our nature to have natural ups and downs. Some of you have requested suggestions about how you can help your partner during those low times. It depends on your partner’s personality. If your partner needs alone time to process their feelings then set aside your own feelings and ensure that that needed alone time happens. If your partner is one who needs to talk things out then give a listening ear.
Some people do not understand what a listening ear is. That means that you do not interrupt and that you do not try to fix the problem unless you are asked. This is not always an easy task but is well worth the effort.
Some of you may feel so uncomfortable with your partner’s negative emotions that you feel it is your responsibility to make those negative feelings go away. We are all human and do not like to see the person we love feeling down. What we often forget is that sometimes those low moments are necessary to regroup, grow and find better solutions to our problems.
Some of you have such difficulty with this that you will deliberately aggravate your partner just to get a response from them. It is so important that you concentrate on your own joy and allow your partner to come to you. My husband is a talker but…sometimes he just needs to be alone with his emotions for a while. He will randomly come to me for a hug. I tell him that everything is going to be okay.
Every relationship is a work in progress. If you are not working on your relationship then you are not growing together. If you are not growing together then you are dying. In the next week or so, we will begin to explore the six stages of a relationship. I hope you will join me in reading about these stages and how they apply to you and your partner.
Master Relationship Coach