Today, I follow on with the small list of beliefs that we are given found on Page 31 of my book, Get Out of the Box and Into Play. There are so many beliefs about relationships that we are given from the time we are children. I am here today to tell you that those beliefs do not define your relationship with your loved one. All decisions as a couple come from the two of you and your agreements with each other. Here is the next belief that I would like to help with.
Getting married means that you must have children.
Nopety nope nope.
Having children is a lifelong commitment. There is no turning back from this decision. Children are a beautiful gift. That gift is not something that everyone wants in their life. It is perfectly okay that you do not want children. So many women that I know have made the decision not to have children. I have been on many phone calls that include tears. The tears are not over the fact that they never bore children but they are from the judgment of others that think that pity is warranted. If you are one that is giving this pity…stop it. We all have our choices to make for our lives. For some, children are not the choice that they want to make and that is just fine!
Getting married does not mean that you must have children.
Children are a choice. This is a choice that the two of you make as a couple from the beginning of your relationship. I am adamant about those choices in a relationship. Before you marry, this agreement not to have children needs to be an absolutely clear agreement for the two of you. In my lifetime, I have witnessed marriages disintegrate from this decision. Marrying your partner and believing that that loved one will change their mind about children after you marry is a false expectation. Be clear with one another about your marital decisions.
Know that your relationship with your partner is about no one else but the two of you!
Master Relationship Coach