When my husband and I were first dating, he took me on a trip with him. He later told me that he wanted to see if we could travel well together. He had had an experience or two with other people that did not travel well and it wasn’t a pleasant experience for him. Not all people enjoy traveling. Not all people believe that a vacation needs to involve travel.
Let me share this story with you:
Talking with a couple, the wife says, “I absolutely hate vacations!” I asked her to tell me why. As her husband sat with us, this is what she said. “We only go and visit family for vacation. We must drive and the family is anywhere from 12 to 15 hours drive away. We must get up at 3:00am. The kids are tired and are very upset about staying in the car for such a long time. My husband will only stop every three hours for a 15 minute bathroom break and refuel. By the time we arrive at our family’s home, we are all tired and grouchy. Then we have to spend all of our time doing what his family wants. This is no vacation. This is misery. I would rather stay home and pay for our family to come and visit us.” Her husband sat silent.
You see, it isn’t that she hated vacations. She didn’t have one. She had obligations. This was pure misery for her and the children. Not fun! So we explored change.
I asked, “What if the trips took a couple of days with longer breaks? What if you decided to stop and see interesting sites along the way? What if you planned some fun things for the kids and limited the family time? What if you decided to stay in a hotel instead of with family? How much less stress would that be on your family and on your relatives?”
End of story…They made the decision to try this idea to see what would happen. Their response and the kid’s response was that this was the best vacation ever! You always have the power to compromise and to make the best of whatever circumstances come your way if you work together for a common goal.
Master Relationship Coach