Many couples do not talk about this outside of their relationship and these are questions that all couples either think about or ask each other. What are some of the questions that you have for your loved one about whether they will stay? Here is a list that you may relate to:
What if….
I have cancer and am going to die. Will you take care of me?
I get alzheimers?
I lose my sanity?
I become addicted to something?
I have an affair?
I become paralzed?
I am accused of a crime?
I spent too much money?
I do not get along with your family?
I get old and crinkly?
I lose all of my hair and my teeth?
Couples need to have answers to these questions. It would be better if these questions were presented at the beginning of a relationship but they are usually not discussed until after marriage. It is a pity that those questions are not addressed at the beginning. The absolute truth is that we do not know how we will respond to tragic or normal events until they happen. As couples age, it is important that they have the reassurance from each other that they will stay the course. Some events are difficult to overcome. Addiction, infidelity and the death of a child are three of the most difficult hurdles for any couple. If any of these are a part of your relationship then I encourage you to see outside help in the form of therapy. You are not alone and you can recover from these major life stresses.
Aside from the major stresses, all of these aging questions come to mind for most couples. Why is it important for you to know about this? Because we all need reassurance that no matter what, our loved one is committed to our relationship and will stay the course. We need to know that it is the spirit within us that our loved one has fallen in love with and that the outer appearance of our bodies does not define that love.
Have this conversation with your loved one. You two are worth it!
Master Relationship Coach
Kari Petruch
