Sharing your childhood memories with your partner is important. Childhood memories give your partner a glimpse into how you view your world today. That sharing also gives your partner a look into where and how you find your own personal joy. The sharing of your memories has the power to go beyond knowing what your partner’s likes and dislikes are and into a fuller and more beautiful intimacy. Let’s take a look.
Charlene and Bob are at a restaurant deciding what they would like to eat. Charlene decides that she is going to try something new and asks Bob what he thinks. Bob answers with a shrug.
End of conversation.
The same couple does the same thing and then instead Bob says that he would have the meatloaf. This starts a memory conversation about meatloaf. For us Americans, meatloaf can be a topic of conversation all over our country. Each and every one of us has a different experience with this dish depending on where we were raised, who we were raised by and if that person could actually successfully cook this dish. Charlene orders the meatloaf and while they are waiting and all during the meal, the couple shares their experience with different family and friends relating to meatloaf. They laughed and talked and created their own memory together.
Sharing memories can make memories. This sharing can also create a pathway to healing. When couples share their memories together, they can work together to resolve old hurts in a safe environment. You can share those past hurtful experiences by giving those experiences to a safe loving partner who listens. When I was a little girl, I experienced many painful things. The ability to trust my partner who listened, helped me to let go of the pain associated with these memories. Just talking with my husband and receiving the loving space that he offered to me helped me to take the power of pain away.
Talk about your memories together. Talk about the fun things and the not so fun things that happened. This will create a fun space for the two of you to become even closer.
You and your partner have the power to change how you think about your memories together.
Master Relationship Coach
Kari Petruch
