So much has been written about love overall time. Love is defined in so many ways. Love is what we humans must have in order to live. Love can manifest itself in so many ways that it may be difficult for you to define or put into a box.  Let go of the box. You don’t have to make love fit in any particular form. You only need to know that love is and you desire it.

People like to define love in terms of romance and gifts either given or received. Love does not only sit in this space. It is one of the most broad and undefinable values that there is. Is there love in breastfeeding a baby? Is there love in helping your friend to move? Is there love in making dinner for your family? Does love exist while you clean up a mess from your sick relative? The answer is yes. Love is all of this and so much more. Most of us hold this value as the highest value.  It is beautiful and ugly at the same time. It is quiet and loud.  It is sorrow and joy.

Tony Robbins tells us that love is one of our six human needs.  It is a need that we have from birth.  So what gets in the way of loving? Do you have rules about what love should look like in order to give and receive love? Are those rules stopping you from truly experiencing love from others? Are you loving yourself by giving to yourself?  Sometimes those rules can turn away those that would give you more and sometimes those rules can keep you from loving and being the best version of yourself.

Defining what it is that love means to you and what has to happen in order for you to feel loved is a small step in the direction of truly loving anyone including yourself. Go ahead and make that list for yourself.  Do you feel loved when your partner compliments you? Do you feel most loved when you receive a lot of hugs and kisses during the day? Do you feel loved when your partner takes the time to do special things for you?  What is your definition of being loved by your partner? After you make that list, take the time to tell your partner how you feel loved by them. If your partner does not fulfill these needs then tell your partner how you feel.

I feel loved when my husband does all the little things around the house that I cannot do.  I feel loved when my husband just walks by and decides to give me a big hug.  I feel loved when my husband has long conversations about subjects we care about.  This is but a simple example of the thousand ways that my husband shows me that he loves me every day.  What do you do to show your partner that you value them and you value love?

Kari Petruch

The Relationship Reigniter

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