Values are the words that access your emotional state.  So you do not value money.  You do not value a house, car, clothing, etc.  It is important that you clarify the feeling that you want to experience rather than the material things or achievements that would give you that feeling. Those things and the jobs that you do are not really who you are.  If you identify yourself based on these outside things then you don’t know who you really are. 

With Values come Rules.  For each value that you have, there are rules attached to those values.  If “Love” is one of your values then look at that value and ask yourself these questions:

  1. What do you need from your partner to know that you are loved?
  2. Is there something that you expect from them that you don’t ask for directly?
  3. What could happen between you that would make it impossible for you to experience love?

Your answers to these questions help you to understand the “rules” about your value of love.  Sometimes the rules that you have put into place can keep you from experiencing that which you value the most.  This is where you must learn to change so that you don’t sabotage your opportunity to experience that value. When you look at your rules, ask yourself if your rules are making it impossible for you to love yourself and others.

If you are following my blogs, I will be continuing to explore values and what they mean in a relationship. Values are joyful assets in any relationship. I encourage you and your partner to explore these values and share them with each other in a heartfelt understanding way. Heartfelt understanding has no judgment and requires you to set aside the emotions that are evoked in order to be truly present for your partner. 

The next blog will be about….Love of course!

Many Blessings!

Kari Petruch

The Relationship Reigniter

Text 26786 for more information about how to have a more joyful relationship!