This looks like some archaic quote coming up huh? Well it isn’t.  It is a way of understanding how to look for signals that you may not want to engage in a serious conversation with your partner.


Having a conversation with your partner when they are sick is useless. No real and valuable decisions or communication can take place when your partner has a fever or any other illness that puts them in the bed for days.  No person can really think clearly when they are sick.  Unless it is an emergent situation.  Table it.  This is an opportunity to let your love shine.  Take the time to care for your partner. They will appreciate and love you for it!


When blood sugar levels drop people get irritable.  I bet you thought this was only for old people.  Not true.  Sometimes people ignore the fact that they need to eat so much that they aren’t even aware that they are hungry. Your partner might say that they are too busy with work to take time out to eat.  So when you both are at home together and you see each other after work, it isn’t always work that is making your partner grouchy.  Many times it is hunger.  Have you ever noticed that your partner seems to brighten up after dinner? This is why. major discussions or decisions if your partner is hungry. Neither you nor your partner can think clearly when your blood sugar is low.


Most hurtful words or actions happen when you and your partner engage in discussions while one or both of you are angry.  Please allow your partner to calm down before engaging in a discussion and the same goes for you.  The results of the disagreement with be greatly improved!


Let’s face it! You are not the only person on the earth that your partner wants to communicate with.  You both need friends. Sometimes our friends go away on trips or we move to new place where we don’t know anyone.  Loneliness can happen to anyone. When your partner is feeling lonely, don’t try to fix it. Just be there and listen.


Ever notice that when you are tired all you are thinking about is resting? So does your partner.  When we are tired, we don’t want to engage in any serious discussions.  We cannot be fully present to listen or to help solve problems when we are tired.

All of this said, there are times when we do have to have these discussions when we are feeling one or all of these emotions or fatigue.  Be patient with your partner because their reactions to you may not be the most positive or loving reactions.  Have compassion for your partner during these times. 

As I wrote before…if it isn’t emergent, then table it during these times. Remember..SHALT!  Your relationship will be much more joyful if you decide to follow this path.

Kari Petruch

The Relationship Reigniter