Are you attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable to you? If you are then you have a problem of worthiness. We are attracted to our own level of wellness. We seek out those that are either in the same place emotionally and spiritually OR those that can feed our low self-esteem. Sounds pretty messed up, huh? Not really. Whatever you saw in your complimentary parent is what you believe is the right person for you. If your father was emotionally unavailable to you then you look for a partner with the same attributes. The same goes for men and their mothers. This is all a part of your core belief system.
Have you noticed that when you were young, you said you would never marry someone like your parent? You did, didn’t you? You may have wanted to be different and so did your partner. Then when the stress of marriage, job, and children became overwhelming…you turned to what you knew. These patterns have been repeated since the beginning of mankind. The great thing for your relationships is that you can change this for yourself and your partner. The two of you can make different choices. Those new choices can feel uncomfortable at first but they really work!
If you are not in a lasting relationship and you still continue to find emotionally unavailable people to be a part of your life, make a different choice. Have you made your list of the most important qualities in the person who is to be your life mate? Do so now! When you go out on a date with someone, keep that checklist in the front of your mind. Do not excuse or cross off anything on that list. Your list should consist of qualities. Having money or a nice car is not allowed! Having integrity, compassion and respect are allowed. Get the picture? Those list items should be virtues and values.
You can have the person of your dreams once you value and love yourself!
Many Blessings!
Kari
