Let me start the answer with a resounding NO! There are those that believe that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. The true weakness is in the lack of vulnerability. While participating in any relationship it is important that you give. In order to give you must be able to be vulnerable. Let’s call this the Law of Empathy. If you are always concerned with only your own selfish wants and needs and are not capable of understanding or having empathy for another human being’s needs then you have an entirely different problem. Almost all of us have the ability to give some kind of empathy to another human being.
Maybe you learned as a child that showing your emotions in any way was a sign of weakness. You may have learned this by teasing and taunting that you endured as a result of showing those feelings that are very powerful. I want you to think a little about those emotions. What happens to you when someone you love begins to weep? How do you feel when someone you care about is angry with you? Do you laugh and smile when someone you love is feeling joy? These are simple reactions to strong emotions.
When you left childhood you learned that there were times when it was acceptable to show your feelings. Death, birth of a child, surgery of any kind, or marriage were all understandable times to show your emotions. Otherwise, you are taught that it is not acceptable to be sensitive about anything else. From all of these messages, we make decisions that determine what path to take. Here is an example of one of those decisions:
Mary has a father that was and is very cruel. She made a decision early in life that she too must be cruel in order to survive. Mary’s father used sarcasm and superiority to cut her down. He spent time making fun of her and teasing her about everything. Her self-esteem plummeted. She began to believe that saying sarcastic and hateful things to people would give her power. It never occured to Mary that her father behaved this way because of his own self hatred. Mary became bitter and treated those around her with the same bitterness. Mary then fell in love. She never expected that! After a brief period of time she was back to being the bitter person that she had been. She was in danger of losing the love of her life because she was allowing that limiting belief to destroy her life.
Mary is married to the love of her life today because she decided to change that limiting belief and to become vulnerable to another human being. The weakness was in the cruelty. Her strength today is in the ability to love and be loved. If you use the tools that I can provide, you too can learn how to change those limiting beliefs and Find Your Power!
Until next time! Many Blessings!
Kari
